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When all else fails simply grasp the pen and create life. Thus begins a stream of consciousness, a running brook of thoughts; emotional thoughts anchored in the cerebral by a pier of reason and a chain of despair. What really am I typing? What really will be the outcome? A visceral accomplishment or simply an ink-stained illusion that can be twisted and turned by the optical until its spirit is etched in the mind and resurfaces in the deepest of dream-sleep. In the lonliest of moments it encircles the throat, pressurizing the adam's apple into the sweetest pulp as the juices are drained away even as the breath of life slips silently away. Metaphors to describe what? Similies like paintbrushes in the hands of an old blinded artist, depicting life as seen only in the first four years of life. Forever painting innocence as seen through the eyes of children, even as the bones grow brittle from the hammerings of life and the breath shortens from the strain of inhaling foul air.

Alone or lonliness. Being alone is simply an outward condition of lonliness in many cases. In the realm of reality one can be alone and not be lonely because of the memories of something greater than oneself. But lonliness is deep-seeded and grows in darkness more quickly than the most stringent mold and tirelessly slaves at surrounding the heart in seige-like form, grasping sword and spear as the battle cries beat in unison to the thumping of the heart.

It's strange that what we seek to combat lonliness stares us firmly in the face and never wavers as we stubbornly seek to peek around it. It's amazing that we generate clear images of what will make us happy and content and we still grab hot coals from the fire without aid of a mitten or glove; constantly burning oursleves and cursing our luck as the object of happiness blinks at us through the crackling of the fire and the wisping smoke.

Women have lists as long as I-95 of the perfect man that should sweep them off their feet and caress their hearts with a tender stroke. Instead they continue to overlook this clear image and settle for the blundering fool with no job and weak credit. good men you wishfully desire, but you seek to be pricked by the thorns and poison vines in the garden. The ideals of manhood you shoulder in deep pockets of the baggage you carry should be brought out and placed in lockets of the purest gold and displayed around the neck to forever remind you and all who bask in its glow that which you cherish the most.

To combat the bludgeonings of lonliness we must first know oursleves. Armed with this information we must accept or reject this intimate knowledge. Embrace its purity or despise its insincerity, but eventually concede to its truth. You cannot invite strangers into a crowded home or a cluttered heart. How can you asks another to take you as you are and you have not accepted who and what your are? Elementary really that you must first travel alone and have lived through a journey before embraking on a treacherous road with a companion. a road-test is always invaluable before traversing on a serious sojourn.

Take heed as we look to the East.

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