This list was compiled from a survey of men, of various ages, ethnic and economic backgrounds. This is a "women stop it please" list.
1.Stop taking us to visit your raggedy relatives. Your sister doesn’t train your little nephew and he is always begging for money and asking for stuff. And if he punches me again because I won’t play that old Kool-aid stained Playstation 2, I’m going to give him another lump in his neck.
2.Stop asking us where we want to eat, then when we get there you don’t like the food and the service. We told you to pick because we know we can always get a burger and fries and be content.
3.Stop doing your hair, makeup, etc. in the car and telling us to slow down. If you had stopped answering that cell phone and gotten dressed in the house like normal people we wouldn’t have to drive 23 mph on the interstate so the mirror won’t shake.
4.Stop asking us do we love you more than once a month. That question should only be asked every 30 days because that’s how often we reevaluate the relationship. Once a month we are sitting at a stop light and a female walks across/down the street that looks like all the women we gave up for you all rolled into one phenomenally built specimen of God’s handicraft. And that day may or may not be the day we stop answering your phone calls.
5.Stop asking us for detailed explanations. We went to work today. No we don’t want to ramble on about what exactly we accomplished during that 8 hours. We did enough to get paid. No, this relationship is going to the graveyard if you ask us that one more time.
6.Stop buying revealing outfits and we have to watch you pulling on that skirt or that low-cut top all night. You wear an outfit that accentuates your figure and then you spend the whole day trying to adjust things to cover up. Smh…
7.Stop getting mad at us because all we need is football and basketball, some food, a playstation or xbox, and a naked woman some days. Throw in a little money and that my friends would be peace on earth.
8.Stop trying to make us rat out our friends. You know damn well we know you use the same beauty shop as our best friend’s fiancé and you think we are going to comment on anything he did or said? Thou shalt not snitch on thy friends!
9.Stop thinking our days off from work is time for us to take care of things for you. No we don’t want to go get nothing, move nothing, paint nothing, buy nothing, fix nothing, or cook nothing.
10.Stop getting upset because somehow we don’t have this fictional cellular provider that has figured out a way to ensure that our cell phones work in every place on earth. No text messages are not always instant. No you can call our phones and they don’t actually ring, but show up as missed calls later or don’t show up at all.
11.Stop feeding us that nasty cooking. You know the food is nasty that’s why you spend 15 minutes making up excuses why it’s going to taste a little different than it’s supposed to. We know it’s going to taste a lot different that’s why we eat before we come to your house.
12.Stop complaining about other women all the time. We don’t want to hear about that trollop (hmmm is a word? lol) that you work with everyday. If you’re not going to fix the problem and just punch her in the face, we really don’t care what she said to you today.
13.Stop trying to make us like your kids. They are bad, smart-mouth, unruly little brats who need someone to kick them in the throat. You know they are bad that’s why you keep apologizing for their behavior. Not all kids are bad but we wish you would trade this outlaw in for one of those good kids.
14.Stop thinking a cell phone is community property. If you don’t pay a bill at Verizon every month in our name then going through calls and messages in our phones should be a federal offense that requires one of your hands to be chopped off.
15.Stop snoring when you sleep. That’s terrible. How awful to look on the face of an angelic woman and out of her mouth comes the sound of John Madden being strangled by a shamwow cloth.
1.Stop taking us to visit your raggedy relatives. Your sister doesn’t train your little nephew and he is always begging for money and asking for stuff. And if he punches me again because I won’t play that old Kool-aid stained Playstation 2, I’m going to give him another lump in his neck.
2.Stop asking us where we want to eat, then when we get there you don’t like the food and the service. We told you to pick because we know we can always get a burger and fries and be content.
3.Stop doing your hair, makeup, etc. in the car and telling us to slow down. If you had stopped answering that cell phone and gotten dressed in the house like normal people we wouldn’t have to drive 23 mph on the interstate so the mirror won’t shake.
4.Stop asking us do we love you more than once a month. That question should only be asked every 30 days because that’s how often we reevaluate the relationship. Once a month we are sitting at a stop light and a female walks across/down the street that looks like all the women we gave up for you all rolled into one phenomenally built specimen of God’s handicraft. And that day may or may not be the day we stop answering your phone calls.
5.Stop asking us for detailed explanations. We went to work today. No we don’t want to ramble on about what exactly we accomplished during that 8 hours. We did enough to get paid. No, this relationship is going to the graveyard if you ask us that one more time.
6.Stop buying revealing outfits and we have to watch you pulling on that skirt or that low-cut top all night. You wear an outfit that accentuates your figure and then you spend the whole day trying to adjust things to cover up. Smh…
7.Stop getting mad at us because all we need is football and basketball, some food, a playstation or xbox, and a naked woman some days. Throw in a little money and that my friends would be peace on earth.
8.Stop trying to make us rat out our friends. You know damn well we know you use the same beauty shop as our best friend’s fiancé and you think we are going to comment on anything he did or said? Thou shalt not snitch on thy friends!
9.Stop thinking our days off from work is time for us to take care of things for you. No we don’t want to go get nothing, move nothing, paint nothing, buy nothing, fix nothing, or cook nothing.
10.Stop getting upset because somehow we don’t have this fictional cellular provider that has figured out a way to ensure that our cell phones work in every place on earth. No text messages are not always instant. No you can call our phones and they don’t actually ring, but show up as missed calls later or don’t show up at all.
11.Stop feeding us that nasty cooking. You know the food is nasty that’s why you spend 15 minutes making up excuses why it’s going to taste a little different than it’s supposed to. We know it’s going to taste a lot different that’s why we eat before we come to your house.
12.Stop complaining about other women all the time. We don’t want to hear about that trollop (hmmm is a word? lol) that you work with everyday. If you’re not going to fix the problem and just punch her in the face, we really don’t care what she said to you today.
13.Stop trying to make us like your kids. They are bad, smart-mouth, unruly little brats who need someone to kick them in the throat. You know they are bad that’s why you keep apologizing for their behavior. Not all kids are bad but we wish you would trade this outlaw in for one of those good kids.
14.Stop thinking a cell phone is community property. If you don’t pay a bill at Verizon every month in our name then going through calls and messages in our phones should be a federal offense that requires one of your hands to be chopped off.
15.Stop snoring when you sleep. That’s terrible. How awful to look on the face of an angelic woman and out of her mouth comes the sound of John Madden being strangled by a shamwow cloth.
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