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Any Woman...Apologies

In introspective retrospect I should have turned away
And left you to enjoy a moment of happiness in Life
Without the turmoil and pain I was sure to bring,
Sliding down the chimney of your heart bearing a scarlet
Bag of pain and despair, stockings filled with the blackest
Coal that would resemble the dirty soot I would leave you
With one day but in the frenzy of music as the Greeks of
Historically black lineage painted a musical picture
Across an upraised wooden canvas, the thudding of boots
Convinced me in an instant the same way ancient drums
Convinced my forefathers from a distant land, African warriors
Dancing and twisting before the hottest bonfire, conjuring
The spirits of war and capture, I too was lead by a carnal nature
To approach you and purposely wave a white flag of friendship
But the demons buried within were secretly consuming the scent
Of your perfume, and intoxicating themselves with the curvature
Of your thighs and the pitches and tones of your voice were
Enchanting the movement of blood through my veins and the voices
Began to whisper; they began to form words and push them savagely
Across my lips and the portion of the Spirit that had been blown into
My human temple by the Creator was burning red hot, flames that
Needed to be nurtured by the oxygen in my lungs to create a fiery
Lake that would drown the urgings of the demons, but I failed to fuel
These heavenly flames that would keep me from damaging your heart
And breaking your trust in men and I decided to seize the baton of
Infidelity and deceit and run laps around your stronghold of womanhood
Until the very idea of nobility and manhood sickened your stomach
And the faith and hope of our relationship was lost and no ad on a
Milk carton could retrieve it and thus I died when your faith in me died
I cried when you cried though the tears never left my eyes, the loneliness
Pierced every organ in my chest and the loss of your kiss stole air
From my being and the demons laughed as I suffered, as I went from house
To house as a lowly peddler, trying to find a woman to supplement the
Queen I was given, but to no avail, as the one-night stands started to run
Together and the lies transmitted through cell phones begin to sour as soon as
They left my lips and I ignored that Spirit, I used the rage of the demons to quiet
Its infamous wisdom, as it continued to tell me to go home or pick-up the phone
To hear you, the only voice that I needed to hear, but my soul was ashamed of
My negligence, and my pride would not let me heal the wounds I caused your
Heart and the angels shed tears as they watched me destroy the gift of love
And beauty I was blessed with on this earth and slowly my soul diminished
With each queen I destroyed under the guise of friendship and “getting to
Know you” and every phone number I took shall be added up and
The number found will be the years in hell my soul will find no comfort
And my mind shall find no peace and many times I could have released
The tension and chosen the sword of honesty to cut through the mess
And gave you the peace you sought instead of trying to trick your intuition
When it was clear from the change in your eyes when you looked at me that
My deception had conceived doubt and my blindness was festering the
Knowledge that you had been given many months ago; but still I trudged
On testing your intelligence and mocking your common sense and for this
I stand now alone only to burn to ashes every night and rise again as The
Phoenix as day breaks to relive an existence without your touch and a
Sunrise without your heart connected to mine and no apology in the
World can be written in blood and delivered to each queen I destroyed….

In introspective retrospect I should have turned away….

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