Something has been causing my mind headaches as I try to figure it out. Why do people settle? Moreover, the people that settle, why do they try to unsuccessfully convince themselves & me that they are profoundly aware of what type of person they need in their lives, and only this person is what they will tolerate?
Case and point. How many men and women can we name that have expressed their high value and what a “catch” they would be for anyone searching? These same confused individuals then go on to describe what type of person will be acceptable for courtship. The lists are long and varied, but include things like “must be educated, well-spoken, no kids, good job, nice dresser, spiritual, not prone to physical violence, etc.” They reiterate frequently during this conversation that they will accept nothing less and that this list will never change because they are who they are and prospective daters better step correct.
The next week you see this woman for example with her eye swollen being escorted out of a party by a dope boy with the shorts that resemble Capri pants, retro Jordans, a silvery icy chain and a black and mild behind his ear. She acts like she doesn’t see you as she walks past and he shoves her in the car, calling her everything but a child of God. You find out that’s the guy she’s been dating for a year and he’s been cheating on her the entire time. They were engaged but she caught him with some strippers and broke up, only to reunite with him for the 6th time in 12 months after he expressed how sorry he was for cheating on her for the 4th time and really wanted to start a life together now.
We all can attest to similar scenarios where friends and relatives saddle themselves with something entirely beneath them over and over again. Why? I’ve heard the low self-esteem excuses, etc. but I am floored that with such a detailed list of a “good” man or woman, how can you be misdirected by something so completely opposite of what you tell me your soul desires. There is no comparison between a man that beat his last 3 girlfriends and a man that goes to church weekly. I will never confuse a street walker with a single mother enrolled in college taking care of her responsibilities. You cannot tell me that a man with no job, living with his mother convinced you that he was gainfully employed and owned his own home. Now there are reasonable lies and there are those so ridiculous that they need no response other than you simply walking away and not looking back.
It’s settling in it’s worst form and it is amazing. It’s like knowing you crave a hamburger, stopping at Popeye’s, ordering a burger, they give you a chicken box and when you finish eating you wonder why you still crave a burger. Then to make matters worse, you go to Church’s the next day and order another burger and wonder what is going on with you not getting the hamburger you so desire.
Stop perpetrating. Just let it go. You chose that chick with the big butt and no brains and now you are upset because she’s not your “ideal woman.” And for most people, you are judged on actions…not words. So don’t tell me how much I must make to take care of you in order to be with you, when your current man works at Wal-mart, never lets you drive his car and gave you nothing for 2 consecutive Valentine Day’s. He never even drove past Applebee’s, let alone got out and paid for your meal.
You are stuck with garbage because you choose to be. No one made you date someone and certainly is not making you maintain that trashy relationship. You are there because ultimately you are in control of your life and something keeps you from leaving. No it’s not love unfortunately. When someone figures out what it is, let me know so I can get vaccinated and keep it from tearing holes in my life.
Case and point. How many men and women can we name that have expressed their high value and what a “catch” they would be for anyone searching? These same confused individuals then go on to describe what type of person will be acceptable for courtship. The lists are long and varied, but include things like “must be educated, well-spoken, no kids, good job, nice dresser, spiritual, not prone to physical violence, etc.” They reiterate frequently during this conversation that they will accept nothing less and that this list will never change because they are who they are and prospective daters better step correct.
The next week you see this woman for example with her eye swollen being escorted out of a party by a dope boy with the shorts that resemble Capri pants, retro Jordans, a silvery icy chain and a black and mild behind his ear. She acts like she doesn’t see you as she walks past and he shoves her in the car, calling her everything but a child of God. You find out that’s the guy she’s been dating for a year and he’s been cheating on her the entire time. They were engaged but she caught him with some strippers and broke up, only to reunite with him for the 6th time in 12 months after he expressed how sorry he was for cheating on her for the 4th time and really wanted to start a life together now.
We all can attest to similar scenarios where friends and relatives saddle themselves with something entirely beneath them over and over again. Why? I’ve heard the low self-esteem excuses, etc. but I am floored that with such a detailed list of a “good” man or woman, how can you be misdirected by something so completely opposite of what you tell me your soul desires. There is no comparison between a man that beat his last 3 girlfriends and a man that goes to church weekly. I will never confuse a street walker with a single mother enrolled in college taking care of her responsibilities. You cannot tell me that a man with no job, living with his mother convinced you that he was gainfully employed and owned his own home. Now there are reasonable lies and there are those so ridiculous that they need no response other than you simply walking away and not looking back.
It’s settling in it’s worst form and it is amazing. It’s like knowing you crave a hamburger, stopping at Popeye’s, ordering a burger, they give you a chicken box and when you finish eating you wonder why you still crave a burger. Then to make matters worse, you go to Church’s the next day and order another burger and wonder what is going on with you not getting the hamburger you so desire.
Stop perpetrating. Just let it go. You chose that chick with the big butt and no brains and now you are upset because she’s not your “ideal woman.” And for most people, you are judged on actions…not words. So don’t tell me how much I must make to take care of you in order to be with you, when your current man works at Wal-mart, never lets you drive his car and gave you nothing for 2 consecutive Valentine Day’s. He never even drove past Applebee’s, let alone got out and paid for your meal.
You are stuck with garbage because you choose to be. No one made you date someone and certainly is not making you maintain that trashy relationship. You are there because ultimately you are in control of your life and something keeps you from leaving. No it’s not love unfortunately. When someone figures out what it is, let me know so I can get vaccinated and keep it from tearing holes in my life.
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