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Can you Define yourself?

I heard someone ask, “What am I, what defines me?” It seems a fairly simple question and a question that we find ourselves asking and re-asking everyday. What we are, is not our attitudes and characteristics. How contrite we would be if everyone could be lumped into a box with all those who are ill-tempered, or friendly or loyal to others. Those Zodiac-esque descriptions are wonderful to read on the back of a China King menu as the fried rice swims in oil in a hot wok or the deep pages of some random daily paper that has spewed these regurgitated phrases to millions of others over thousands of days. We are bigger than these little boxes and more powerful than their literary walls or the money-hungry conglomerates that fashion their spin on life and hand us the blueprint to live as they have detailed us. It is not the preconceived notions that fester in every breast. It is not the images depicted in art and culture or some babbling idiot trying to explain to Judge Mathis why he won’t pay the thousand dollars he owes his sickly mother when she cosigned on that car so he could finally get to work and give her some pleasure that she raised him somewhat decently. In each person the definition of who you are is not the thick hand-blown shaped glass that we each try to conform daily with our masks of makeup, or our brand labeled clothing or our high-powered circle of elite friends.

We are the free flowing liquid that rushes from these tinted vessels when they are broken and we are required to think and speak for ourselves; when that conformity is taken away and we must rush swiftly and with abandonment to show the world what we truly are before the beating sun evaporates our skin and our voices grow cold and silent. It mystifies and frightens the soul to realize that in order to see who you are you must move away from the crowd and see who you are not. To define yourself you must define those things that you are not. In a starlit epiphany you will revel in your own glory and arch your back in pride. Your family name will be meaningless. Your broken friendships will no longer define you. Your affiliations and organizations will slowly drift past your now strengthened existence.

Who you are is what you are when the restrictions in your life are removed through your strength and determination to finally kick down the paper-thin walls you have been mis-educated to so painfully respect. What you are, are those things you cherish the most to protect. Into every man’s life a little rain must fall. Will you use this rainfall and its pressure to break through this glass or will you just try to fill the glass that’s half-empty?

The Phoenix

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