These kinds of conversations still amaze me. They usually begin with, “ I never thought she would do that,” or “I’ve known dude since way back….” And usually by the end of this monologue, the listener is usually thinking, “How in the hell could you put that pass this person?”
There should be a course given in high school or somewhere called Friendship 101. It’s astounding how long it takes most of us to realize that some people are really not friend material. These thoughts stemmed from a recent conversation with a friend who now has legal troubles because of a “friend.” Even though the bulk of their interaction was based on both their abilities to lie, cheat and steal, he just couldn’t fathom how the guy could tell a lie on him. Irony at its finest.
What is even more interesting is that people know deeply that a certain person or people are a detriment to their life. How could you not know? If you have fed someone from your table, given them money, listened to their hard times, watched their kids, let them borrow your car, helped them move, given them a temporary place to stay, covered up for them, invited their lonely ass out of the house, etc. and this person can only ring your phone when they need something? These people only seem to find you when there is trouble in their life? Now when they receive a blessing – new car, money, etc you don’t hear from them, but let that car break down and you’re on speed dial in the cell phone.
People don’t realize how weighted down they are until they remove these kinds of people and their load lightens. You stand a little taller and your shoulders broaden out when you can see through those that are simply leechers of life and those that truly consider you a friend. It is not productive to simply identify, but to also keep them in perspective.
We all have tried to categorize people as “friends, “associates,”, “people we know but don’t know” etc. But in a simply revelation, why do you need them at all if they are not beneficial? If they are not friends, you probably don’t talk to them, rarely speak, never hang out, don’t converse seriously on the phone, don’t call them if you are in trouble, ask favors, celebrate good and bad times, etc. So seemingly this person/people have very little impact on important things in your life, so why even bog down your life keeping them in certain boxes or even attempting to latch this person/people anywhere in your life? They mean nothing and they do nothing.
And what is even more amusing is that we allow this inconsequential people to influence our lives and habits. We attempt to try to take this person out of the associate box and cram them in the friend box, even after numerous times before they have shown they will not ever fit in this box. We allow their attitudes about things to determine our own. There are people who have ruined good relationships because of the attitudes of some man or woman who didn’t want the relationship to last anyway because of their own inadequacies in keeping a mate.
Something I have been blessed to learn. It may be simple and may not be for everyone, but generally it works. True friends cross each other’s minds. This concern of a true friend will motivate that person to stay in touch. It may not be frequent, but a good gauge is 30 days (60 if the person is long distance, maybe). Count who has called you in 30 days, simply to see how you are doing. A true friend will check on you, because they thought about you. Not because they heard some good or bad news, not because someone told them about you, not because they need something, but simply to see if you are still in the land of the living. Now this excludes those friends you see almost everyday, etc. It’s harder to see true friendship in someone you see every couple of days or you talk to constantly. Those friends don’t reveal their true colors until a crisis or something serious happens.
I can guarantee the long list of friends and associates will dwindle dramatically after you inventory who has remained in touch with you simply because they thought about you and were concerned that you were okay. If you never cross someone’s mind, you really don’t need him or her. Spring is on its way and it may be time to spring clean the people in your life.
There should be a course given in high school or somewhere called Friendship 101. It’s astounding how long it takes most of us to realize that some people are really not friend material. These thoughts stemmed from a recent conversation with a friend who now has legal troubles because of a “friend.” Even though the bulk of their interaction was based on both their abilities to lie, cheat and steal, he just couldn’t fathom how the guy could tell a lie on him. Irony at its finest.
What is even more interesting is that people know deeply that a certain person or people are a detriment to their life. How could you not know? If you have fed someone from your table, given them money, listened to their hard times, watched their kids, let them borrow your car, helped them move, given them a temporary place to stay, covered up for them, invited their lonely ass out of the house, etc. and this person can only ring your phone when they need something? These people only seem to find you when there is trouble in their life? Now when they receive a blessing – new car, money, etc you don’t hear from them, but let that car break down and you’re on speed dial in the cell phone.
People don’t realize how weighted down they are until they remove these kinds of people and their load lightens. You stand a little taller and your shoulders broaden out when you can see through those that are simply leechers of life and those that truly consider you a friend. It is not productive to simply identify, but to also keep them in perspective.
We all have tried to categorize people as “friends, “associates,”, “people we know but don’t know” etc. But in a simply revelation, why do you need them at all if they are not beneficial? If they are not friends, you probably don’t talk to them, rarely speak, never hang out, don’t converse seriously on the phone, don’t call them if you are in trouble, ask favors, celebrate good and bad times, etc. So seemingly this person/people have very little impact on important things in your life, so why even bog down your life keeping them in certain boxes or even attempting to latch this person/people anywhere in your life? They mean nothing and they do nothing.
And what is even more amusing is that we allow this inconsequential people to influence our lives and habits. We attempt to try to take this person out of the associate box and cram them in the friend box, even after numerous times before they have shown they will not ever fit in this box. We allow their attitudes about things to determine our own. There are people who have ruined good relationships because of the attitudes of some man or woman who didn’t want the relationship to last anyway because of their own inadequacies in keeping a mate.
Something I have been blessed to learn. It may be simple and may not be for everyone, but generally it works. True friends cross each other’s minds. This concern of a true friend will motivate that person to stay in touch. It may not be frequent, but a good gauge is 30 days (60 if the person is long distance, maybe). Count who has called you in 30 days, simply to see how you are doing. A true friend will check on you, because they thought about you. Not because they heard some good or bad news, not because someone told them about you, not because they need something, but simply to see if you are still in the land of the living. Now this excludes those friends you see almost everyday, etc. It’s harder to see true friendship in someone you see every couple of days or you talk to constantly. Those friends don’t reveal their true colors until a crisis or something serious happens.
I can guarantee the long list of friends and associates will dwindle dramatically after you inventory who has remained in touch with you simply because they thought about you and were concerned that you were okay. If you never cross someone’s mind, you really don’t need him or her. Spring is on its way and it may be time to spring clean the people in your life.
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